PANTS LOCK |
How not to get into someone's pants online: put your best foot forward... and right into your mouth. These are real "hello" messages and chat transcripts from dating sites. Submit your own, or get updates on Twitter. |
I knew buying pork chop lingerie would pay off!
“Explore”? Ah, wait, it must be a reference to John Mayer’s follow-up single: “Your Body Is an Amazonian Rainforest from a Time Predating Slash-and-Burn Farming and Large-Scale Soybean Cultivation, Lying in Wait to Be Discovered by an Intrepid Adventurer.” Sold! I’ll get my pith helmet.
I wasn’t expecting “bullshit artist” to be quite so literal.
That makes it sound like there’s one other person out there and you want to make us fight.
“I like my coffee like I like my women: simple, mild and incapable of judging me for my self-centeredness, bad punctuation and lack of manners.”
Oh, how could you not win me over with those honeyed words?
