PANTS LOCK |
How not to get into someone's pants online: put your best foot forward... and right into your mouth. These are real "hello" messages and chat transcripts from dating sites. Submit your own, or get updates on Twitter. |
“I like my coffee like I like my women: simple, mild and incapable of judging me for my self-centeredness, bad punctuation and lack of manners.”
Oh, how could you not win me over with those honeyed words?
Shy? When I’m done with you, there won’t be a single shy bone left in your body! ;)
Btw., I sense a nice sophisticated & mature, yet energetic and playful vibe from your profile! Nice combo.
Just don’t let that get to your head, girl! ;)
“When I’m done with you”?
Yay, nothing like a night out getting filleted by a dude who thinks self-esteem is “uppity.”
HER: Can I be honest with you?
ME: sure
HER: In not a rude way. Bc I think you are cute
HER: But the stache makes you look like a female impersonating a man
You won’t.
You know you’ve spent too long on dating sites when instead of finding it insulting, this just leaves you grateful it wasn’t followed by lovingly detailed, Cheez-It-centric erotica.
I don’t know where exactly he gets off wondering aloud about my vagina when he won’t even post his picture.
