PANTS LOCK |
How not to get into someone's pants online: put your best foot forward... and right into your mouth. These are real "hello" messages and chat transcripts from dating sites. Submit your own, or get updates on Twitter. |
-
Link
2
Notes
- Hungry Praying Mantis Salutation
- Black Widow’s Embrace
(Source: odhs)
-
Link
It’s so sweet how curious you are about what *I* want.
Do you enjoy big/huge cocks? ;-) This is no lack of respect, I just want to know if you ENJOY it ;) If you do, perhaps you want to be taken by one…
-
Link
2
NotesHey sexy I’m horny tonight and you are closeby, do you wanna play?Yup, that’s what I look for in a guy: proximity.
-
Link
3
NotesI have a sneaking suspicion “bareback” is not on the menu?Y’know, I had this whole scenario worked out where I would meet someone; build a connection with him; learn to accept and eventually rely on his trustworthiness; weigh the risks and benefits of forsaking the cheap, reliable and effective barrier method; discuss with him the possibility of accidental pregnancy and what we as a couple would do if that happened; have a frank discussion about STI risks and our personal emotional and physical cost-benefit analyses of sexual exclusivity; and find a form of affordable, reliable birth control that didn’t make me crazy or kill my libido and would play nice with my — and our — plans (or lack thereof) around eventual child-rearing. What the hell was I thinking? It never occurred to me that I could log into a dating site, check my inbox, momentarily forget my carefully curated selection of lubricated, Nonoxynol-9-free condoms in a variety of sizes and materials, find an offer to bone down with the kind of ambulatory risk-bucket that thinks porking strangers sans protection in the age of HIV and drug-resistant gonorrhea is whimsical fun or even remotely socially acceptable, and say “Sure, why the fuck not?”
-
Link
4
Notes
(Source: deandrugh)
-
Link
are you really horny :) or are your answers not real?
Oh, my answers are real. As real as my sparkling cloven hooves.
-
Link
3
Notes -
Link
Fat, Ugly or Slutty: Another Pants Lock sister from another mother.
-
Link
3
Notesyou smoke? im lookin for a fun and wild party buddy who just likes to get fuked up and have a good time and not give a fuk. if u were FUKED up at a party, and all a sudden there was a fat 10 inch c o c k in ur face? what would u do?It’s a toss-up between saying “Oh, sweetie, you think that’s 10 inches?” and the “Home Alone” scream.
-
Link
6
Notes Worst. Over-Under. Ever.Please don’t take this the wrong way, I think you’re really pretty but I need to know…about how much cum have you swallowed in your life-time?