PANTS LOCK |
How not to get into someone's pants online: put your best foot forward... and right into your mouth. These are real "hello" messages and chat transcripts from dating sites. Submit your own, or get updates on Twitter. |
When I write your biography, I will title it, “The Resentful Heterosexual.” That’s just the working title. It may morph into something more risqué like, “I Hate Men, But I Love Penis!” Anyway, that’s the impression I get from your profile. I’ve been wrong before. Correct me if you can.
Well aren’t you gorgeous for being so young and so very tiny…thought you were much younger at first. It’s not often I can say that about such a fragile and innocent girl being very attractive. You probably can’t keep up with an experienced, adventurous and naughty bad man unfortunately, can you? ;-)
…we’d definitely make good looking kids though, the world may not be ready for them!
The mind is hotter than the hottest of bodies…what do you have up there cutie???
Nice job spamming so hard that my roommate and I got this message just a few moments apart.
And wait, and wait, and leave passive-aggressive little notes, and wait!
Sorry, I have commitment issues. Sudden, virulent commitment issues.
