PANTS LOCK |
How not to get into someone's pants online: put your best foot forward... and right into your mouth. These are real "hello" messages and chat transcripts from dating sites. Submit your own, or get updates on Twitter. |
Capitalized pronouns? This must be what it looks like when people text God.
From “The Love Song of J. Anglerfish Prufrock.”
Dude, lose the “lols.” Former adult film star, divorced and dad are already a lot to process at once, so the last thing I need is the mental image of you hyena-laughing in your underpants after every unfunny sentence.
You’re “insame”? Yay! You can come with me looking for psychosies! They’re like horsies, but you ride them with your third eye, screaming and covered in invisible bugs.
i do not like bars…bars r for simians…
friends first. (stupid saying..even cats r known to nuzzle first…) i has one….cat
And lemme guess, no …. friends.
Sent at 5:31am
Someone is drunk on the internet!
What “a lot in common” used to mean: “We share core values and interests that make it easy to have fun together, present few obstacles to compatibility and increase the potential for a healthy, interesting and rewarding long-term relationship.”
What “a lot in common” means on dating sites: “We’re both short and sunburn easily.”
Based on the last couple of hours, probably looking at your junk in your profile photo and laughing hysterically.
