They say some men grow up to marry their own mum.
Thing is, I’ve come to terms with this and am looking for a girlfriend that reminds me of my mum. When I saw your profile, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. “Mum?” I gasped. Not believing that she would put herself on such a dating website, far be it from her. I then came to my senses and realised you are my dream women.
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. I WISH, I WISH I WERE A DOG SO I COULD SUCK MYSELF OFF.